We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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