I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize