Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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