It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize