She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
