Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
