Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
