i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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