i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
