A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
