awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
