I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
