I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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