His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
