I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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