Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i came on her dog
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
