why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
