you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
is it fun? or sober?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize