she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
