Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
