I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
