I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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