I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
