The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
