her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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