Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
