He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
