girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
