Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
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