Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
