I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
