Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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