Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
