Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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