He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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