I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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