I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
