i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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