I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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