Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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