He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
