Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
