But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
