Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
