I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
