you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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