You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
