Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
