You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
