Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is wine microwaveable?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
