are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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