Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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