just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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