and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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