This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
