Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
