i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
