apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
