I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
