He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
