Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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