Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Houston, we have a blender
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize