Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
