hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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