why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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