i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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