Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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