she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
