New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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