He kissed a someone with a penis
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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