Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
