She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
