I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
