Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
