I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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